|
| Well damn. Both tomorrow AND the future are looking to be pretty interesting.
;]]]
| | |
|
Hello, Hello
I bring you letters from the man you used to know
Give in, let go
To the words that made you feel you weren't alone
And now it's funny how we find out
Time can solve the mystery
But love is only temporary
Hello, Hello
The smile your face is just for show
Inside you're screaming let me go
Hello, Hello
Loneliness doesn't make a sound
'Til I head back underground
Hello, Hello
I bring you pictures from the man you used to know
Give in, let go
To the images that made you feel at home
And now it's funny how we find out
How age can change a man
Confused but now I understand
Hello, Hello
Your swimming faster then you know
But you can't fight the undertoe
Hello, Hello
Loneliness doesn't make a sound
"Til I head back underground
And now it's funny how we find out
Time can solve the mystery
But is Love is only ...
Hello, Hello
The smile on your face is just for show
Inside your screaming let me go
Hello, Hello
You're swimming faster then you know
But you can't fight the undertow
Hello, Hello
The smile of your face is just for show
Inside your screaming let me go
Hello, Hello...
Maybe I'll just say goodbye | | |
| Well, I guess I've pretty much figured out what my supposed "purpose" is.
I'm here for others. Is that just it?
I remember back a couple of years ago. About 2 years this november-ish I'd say. I had this one-off (or at least that's how it was back then) character named Ryan. It was this really big Family RP.And I'd say the family was pretty fucked up as-is. The father was never home, the mother was the kind to scream at the kids to shut up while she smoked and watched something retarted on TV, the kids kind of ran around crazy, one of the cousins came home drunk every night and hung over every morning, and then there was Ryan.
He was the nice guy. The quiet, caring older brother that made sure everybody was happy, and nothing ever went wrong. He wasn't superman or anything, he had his faults, but he pretty much devoted his whole life to helping everybody else out. And yet, in the end, he was still sad and lonely on the inside.
And for the most part, that's probably the most descriptive way I've ever described me in my life.
Sure. Am I happy? For the most part..maybe.
See, in the summertime, that's when I was truly happy. And I thought it was because I had turned my life around. That I had no worries whatsoever. And I suppose I was right. I had no worries.
Now ever since I'm back in school, I'm back to how I was again. The stress of trying to juggle schoolwork is hard enough in itself, and trust me, none of you know just how serious it's been fucking me up mentally.
Then, now that I'm back in a "social" environment, I can realize how lonely I actually was, or pretty much still am. Do I have a reasonable amount of friends? Yes. Do I have a reasonable amount of people I can talk to? Sure, why not. But in all of my classes this term...I have absoulutely nobody.
That's why I hate group projects. Unless we're in assigned groups, I usually just have to be placed in one every time.Not because I can't talk to anyone. It's just I dislike mostly everyone that I'm usually forced to be with, and frankly, they don't give two shits about me, so why should I make any effort, hmm?
But. Back onto the point here.
I just...I don't know. I do what I can to make people happy. I just HATE it when people are let down, HATE it. I'm too caring that way.
But. Still. I can make other people happy. I fix things.
So why do I still feel this way?
"You're all you have and you never even learned to like yourself!"
| | |
| Well, as you can see, new layout. I actually found something I LIKE on createblog, go me. >_>
Well, I don't really know what's been going on lately. I just feel like I've been slipping from certain people. And for once in my life, I don't mean people in real life. Hell, I'm actually doing BETTER in RL. Am I actually getting a life? Noooo, make it stop make it stop T___T;;
I'm working on a new self-imposed project. Hooray, music games. I'll update the...none of you that care? Yay.
But seriously though, it just sort of seems that mostly everyone I know online is becoming more shrug-offish and such toward me (Except for if your name starts with B and ends with an Au :whee: ) I hardly talk to K (I'm going by real names here, not nicknames) anymore, M....well, I don't think we've ever talked since June or July, no matter how much I try, and N...I'm fine with N...I think o_o;
Oh well, back to real life. Lawlz.
Tomorrow, I'm supposedly taking Kaylie, Matthew, and Tommy (who's name is now WTF Kid just because) to town because Matthew's buying us something or something =\ They can't leave school property without me, but then again, I usually go with them at lunch anyway, so eh.
Oh, and some bastard deleted the Tic-Tac commercial and my Pimp Slap II video from Kaylie's camera T___T Those were the only signifigant things I've done so far...except for totally acing pretty much every class I'm in except for math. Fuck that class >>;
I'll probably write an entry about my classes later. Whatever, later peeps.
| | |
| One time, in first grade, we were to write a story about how
important it is to make everyone feel welcome. I wrote a darling story
about a little colored kid that couldn't get any friend. Then one day,
he found a magic soap, which washed the black away. Suddenly, everyone
wanted to be friends with him.
Yeah.
Our school counselor had a field day. | | |
|
